This Is Me

The mirror calls out,
Fat.
Ugly.
Worthless.
The mirror echoes
The chaos I feel.
Who am I?

The choice is made,
It will be done.

Fat.
Ugly.
Worthless.
Will be "me" no more.
Who am I?

The price is paid,
It's being done.

Thin.
Beautiful.
Priceless.
That's who I'll be.
Will that be me?

Pounds shed.
Sweat drips.
Muscles tone.
But,
Who am I?

They were right.
I still don't know.

It's not about that.
Fat.
Ugly.
Thin.
Beautiful.
It's not about that.

Then what?
Who am I?

You're beautiful,
Inside out,
The wise ones say.
If only they knew.

The heart is what matters,
And you've got that,
The wise ones say.
If only they knew.

So,
It starts inside.
I look inside.
I turn away.

It's worse than I thought.
Sin.
Anxiety.
Fear.
Rebellion.
Much worse than I thought.

Who am I?

Pounds shed.
Sweat drips.
Muscles tone.
But,
Who am I?
Who am I,
Really?

Truth speaks.
Break free.
Fight the lies.
You're strong.
Beautiful,
She says.

Don't hide yourself,
From the ones you love.
Break free.
Branch out.
Be yourself,
She says.
But,
Who am I?

I try,
Anyway.
I like it.
Freedom.
Fortification.
Trust.
Jesus.
I trust Jesus.

He will catch me,
If the ones I try to reach,
Won't.

He will love me,
If the ones I try to love,
Won't.

Who am I?
Still blurry.

So I fight.
I break free.
I live.
I love.
Free.
But,
Who am I?
Who am I,
Really?

Pounds shed.
Sweat drips.
Muscle tones.
But is that what
All this is about?
No.

It's about me.
My search.
My identity.
Who am I?

Fat.
Ugly.
Worthless.
That's not who I am.
That's not what defines me.
Is it?
Blurry.

So,
I keep learning.
I keep searching.
I keep trusting.
I keep extending.

Finally,
Beauty.
Confidence.
Truth.

I am beautiful.
Because pounds have shed?
It can't be so.
Maybe.
But,
No.
There must be more.

I am beautiful.
Because sweat is dripping?
It can't be so.
Maybe.
But,
No.
There has to be more.

I am beautiful.
Because muscles are toning?
It can't be so.
Maybe.
But,
No.
There has to be more.

If so,
Then what?
What has changed?

Me.
I have changed.

Not because
Pounds shed,
Sweat drips,
Muscles tone.

I have changed.

Because
I keep learning.
I keep searching.
I keep trusting.
I keep extending.

Who am I?
Crystal clear.
I've known it.

36 less,
Says the scale.
A lifetime more,
Says the heart.

So what then,
Is the key?
For those who search
Blindly,
For who they are.
Blindly,
Looking to the mirror for answers.
Blindly,
Listening to the world for clues.
The key is love.
Confidence.
Beauty.

Love yourself.
Confidence follows.
Beauty abides.

So,
The key I have,
But I have to
Keep learning.
Keep searching.
Keep loving.
Keep extending.
Keep praying.
Keep hoping.
Keep trusting.
Keep believing.

Because
The mirror calls out,
Lies.
Fat.
Ugly.
Worthless.
All lies.

Instead,
And now I can see,
That,
The mirror echoes,
The satisfaction I feel.
Hard work.
Rewarded.
But,
It's not about that.

It's about,
Peace,
Inside.
Because,
I know who I am.

Beauty.
Confidence.
Love.

This is me.